A few weeks back we had a gathering of our ArtwoRx ministry - all of the singers, musicians, audio, media, and drama team members of our church. Ian Moyes, who heads up our audio ministry, shared a creative twist on 1 Corinthians 13 - the supremacy of love - from a technical arts perspective. I hope you enjoy it ... If I use the vocalisation waveforms of my facial resonance cavity but don’t have love, I am only an oscillating Q-curve shaped brass resonator. If I have the gift of time-shifted data and can zero-in to single bit-depth magnification of... Read more →

There is no doubt that the world economy has been in a bit of a turmoil of late with extreme volatility in things such as the value of the dollar, the share market, and property. Here's a humorous attempt to try to make some sense of it all ... 21 Economic Models Explained with Cows SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The... Read more →

With our annual men's conference about to start, I thought some male/female humour would be a bit of fun for today's blog post. Enjoy! WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER THAN WOMEN The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Car mechanics tell you the truth. Same work, more pay. Wedding dress $5000. Tuxedo rental - $100. One mood all the time. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness, If someone forgets to invite you, he or... Read more →

Did you know that being part of a church gathering is the safest place to be! Statistics tell us: 1. Do NOT ride in automobiles: they cause 20% of all fatal accidents. 2. Do NOT travel by air, rail, or water: 16% of all accidents happen on these. 3. Do NOT walk on the streets or sidewalks: 14% of all accidents happen to pedestrians. 4. Do NOT stay home: 17% of all accidents occur in the home. 5. Only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are related to previous physical disorders. Hence, the safest... Read more →

TO JESUS, SON OF JOSEPH, FROM THE JORDAN MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT FIRM By Dr. Fred Mueller Dear Sir, We would like to thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you picked for management positions in your new organisation. All of them have taken our battery of test and each of them has had a personal interview with our psychologist and our vocational aptitude consultants. And it is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have a team concept.... Read more →

We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, "What if God decided to install voice mail?" Imagine praying and hearing this: "Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options: Press 1 for requests Press 2 for thanksgiving Press 3 for complaints Press 4 for all other inquiries What if God used the familiar excuse, "I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it... Read more →

Little Johnny desperately wanted a bright red wagon for Christmas. His friends were writing letters to Santa Claus, but Johnny decided to go one better. "Dear Jesus", he wrote. "If I get a red wagon for Christmas, I won't fight with my brother Peter for a year." Then Johnny thought, "Oh, no, Peter is such a brat, I could never, ever keep that promise." So Johnny threw away the letter and started again. "Dear Jesus, if I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will eat all my vegetables for a year." Then Johnny thought, "Oh, no, that means spinach,... Read more →

I'm not into toilet humour ... really! ... but I couldn't resist this one ... and my wife says that it's true. Women and Public Toilets When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a queue of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you proceed in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's... Read more →

Some humour for the day ... (with no offence intended to the Baptists!) A very proper lady began planning a week's camping vacation for her and her Baptist Church group. She wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped and modern, but couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term "Bathroom Commode." Once written down she still was not comfortable. Finally she decided on the abbreviation "B.C." and wrote, "does your campground have its own "B.C.?" When the campground owner received... Read more →

Some humour for the day ... a letter from poor grandma ... "The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a Honk If You Love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put in on my bumper. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It... Read more →

The recent movie Evan Almighty takes a humorous modern-day approach to the well known story of Noah building an ark in response to God's command. Let's face it, Noah had quite a task! Of course if he was building in today's environment, it would be even more difficult. Here's a funny parody ... enjoy! If Noah lived in Australia ... and the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. I want you to save the righteous people and two... Read more →

You've got to love children. They have such a great sense of humour. No wondered Jesus loved them. I love the story about Jesus and some children that is recorded in the Gospel of Mark (10:13-16) ... "One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch them and bless them, but the disciples told them not to bother him. But when Jesus saw what was happening, he was very displeased with his disciples. He said to them, 'Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these.... Read more →

Some gender-related humour ... for your enjoyment ... We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places... Read more →

At our church we believe in the ministry of prophecy. God still speaks today, not at the authoritative level of Scripture, but to bring strength, comfort and challenge to people's lives (see 1 Cor.14:3). Recently, we had a time of prophetic ministry over 250 of our church leaders and we've received many excellent reports about the positive impact that this had. We encourage each person to listen to the audio CD of the prophecies with someone, so that each prophetic word can be judged appropriately. The apostle Paul tells us not to treat prophecies lightly, but to test them –... Read more →

Did you hear about the two guys who went golfing ... the one guy hit the ball right down the middle of the fairway about 150 metres. He was so excited ... he had never been down the middle of the fairway in his life. He was so excited ... he got down to where his ball was and ... not only was it 150 metres down the fairway, it had rolled up on top of an ant hill. So it was teed up about 2 inches for him. So he grabs his wood, he is so excited. He's never... Read more →

An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the farmer, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns." "Praise choruses", said his wife, "What are those?" "Oh, they're OK. They are sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer. "Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife. The farmer said, "Well, it's like this - If I were to say to you, "Martha the cows are in the corn" - well that would... Read more →

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quietened down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer... Read more →

This is a copy of a letter that was written to insurance company who wanted complete explanation by an injured man to explain the many injuries (he had a fractured skull, severe lacerations on his hands, legs had been broken) and all he had written for an explanation as to how he had had the accident was "I lost my presence of mind". This is how he answered... "I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a 6-storey building. When I completed my work I discovered I had... Read more →