Being retarded is not something to laugh about … but this was actually reported by a school-teacher after the Christmas break. The teacher asked her young pupils how they
 spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don't have to mow the grass anymore! They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because... Read more →

Irony is a form of humour that has been around for a long time. The dictionary defines "irony" as a "rhetorical device, literary technique or situation in which there is an incongruity or discordance that goes beyond the simple and evident meaning of words or actions." Maybe looking at a few signs will easier to explain. See below ... P.S. For those who are keen for more, check out the Friends of Irony web site. Read more →

A 1st grade school teacher had 26 students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom with the first of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic. 1. Don't change horses until they stop running. 2. Strike while the bug is close. 3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time. 4. Never underestimate the power of termites. 5. You can lead a horse to water but How? 6. Don't bite the hand that... Read more →

Ideas usually cannot be imported without modification. The cultures and other aspects of leadership and management are different; therefore, that they fail without some modification shouldn't be surprising. Even adopting simple devices may cause problems. For example, traffic signals were invented in England, although the version used today was developed in the United States. Despite their successful use elsewhere, when traffic signals were introduced to Ireland, the Irish were so outraged that they actually rioted. Why? Because the red light was on top and the green light was on the bottom, and to the Irish, red is the color of... Read more →

Here is a fun way to test your knowledge ... You need only 4 correct answers to pass. 1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 2) Which country makes Panama hats? 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7) What was King George VI's first name? 8) What color is a purple finch? 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? 10) What is the color of... Read more →

Check out this video clip from Worship House Media called 'God Pie.' We showed it last weekend at our church as we shared about the important topic of money. How easy it is for us to forget to honor God with our finances or to give him only our leftovers, if there are any. We must remember that God is the 'pie-maker.' All we have comes from him and we will be held accountable for how we use it. This requires us as his followers to get a good handle on our earnings, giving, savings and spending. Our money matters!... Read more →

Here's a funny one about computers. You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to really understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those who sometimes get flustered by computers, please read on ... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No,... Read more →

Hey Aussies ... we need to lift our game. A recent study revealed that Australia is one of the dirtiest countries in the developing world when it comes to hygiene. In fact, our kitchens have a higher level of bacteria than our bathrooms! The Hygiene in the Home Study 2009 covered Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Australia, Germany, India, Malaysia, South Africa, Britain and America. Virology expert Prof John Oxford from the Hygiene Council says Australia has high levels of contamination in the kitchen. Kitchen cleaning cloths are the dirtiest item in the home, followed by the kitchen tap. The study found... Read more →

When I was growing up as a kid, I loved cats and I never really took to dogs. My wife, Nicole, has always loved dogs and she never really took to cats. We got married and we bought an adorable little kitten that we fell in love with while window-shopping at a pet store (bad idea!). Unfortunately, Nicole got hay fever from it, so we gave it away to some friends. Since then, we've had a variety of dogs (German Shepherds, Terrier crosses, and others I couldn't name) - usually two at a time. I must admit, I've learned to... Read more →

Okay, confession time ... I have had a few clangers - or bloopers, as most people call them - in my life as a public speaker. These are embarrassing moments when you get your words mixed up or say something that has a different meaning than you intended. Here are my Top 3 Bloopers - for your enjoyment: "The church is a living orgasm ..." [instead of "... a living organism ..."] "There were lots of people following Jebus, I mean Jesus ..." [no comment necessary] "A man came and did some staff training for us a few years back.... Read more →

A burglar broke into a house, shining his torch around and looking for valuables. He had just picked up a CD player when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying: "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his torch and froze. When he heard nothing more he continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out, he heard: "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he flashed his light around frantically. Finally, in the corner of the room his light beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at... Read more →

A few funny questions to start off the week ... 1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? 2. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 3. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? 4. Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? 5. Why is the person who invests money for you called a "broker"? 6. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"? 7. Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? 8. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 9. If... Read more →

On a lighter note ... do you think dogs go to heaven? Two churches in a southern USA town are fighting it out. You could call it a 'signs debate' between Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church and Cumberland Presbyterian, a fundamentalist church, which are right across the street from each other. From top to bottom you will see the response and counter-response over time ... Are you feeling more Catholic or Presbyterian on this issue? What will the Presbyterians say next? Read more →

An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two contradictory terms, like 'controlled chaos', 'deafening silence', 'alone together', or 'second best'. Interestingly, the very word 'oxymoron' is an oxymoron itself because it comes from two Greek words: 'oxy' which means 'sharp' or 'pointed' and 'moros' which means 'dull'. Here are a few of my favourites ... with apologies in advance for any potential offences :) Fun Run Country Music Military Intelligence United Nations Open Secret Black Light Ill Health Half Dead Pretty Ugly Microsoft Works Safety Hazard Jumbo Shrimp Same Difference If you really want to get into oxymorons,... Read more →

A few more ... Read more →

Here are a few laughs that a friend sent me .... Enjoy! Read more →

A friend (a woman!) sent me this ... you've gotta laugh ... THE HUSBAND STORE A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back... Read more →

The Silent Generation ... people born between 1925 and 1945. The Baby Boomers ... people born between 1946 and 1964. Generation X ... people born between 1965 and 1982. Generation Y ... people born between 1983 and 1997. Why do we call the last group of people Generation Y? I had no idea until I saw this caricaturist's explanation. Double click on the picure below. A picture is worth a thousand words ... :) Read more →

A funny Christmas story ... Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see … and that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms Terri said. "But who’s the fourth person?" "Oh, that’s Pontius – the Pilot!" Read more →

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25... Read more →