Difficult things to understand … at least for me.
I wouldn’t describe myself as an emotional person while growing up, although I would easily tear up while watching a movie that had anything to do with family. I am an Achiever type. Head down, suck it up, tough it out, get on with it, do what needs to be done … regardless of how you feel. There are many things we do in spite of our feelings not because we necessarily feel like doing them.
As I have grown older, I have learnt to get more in touch with my feelings. Some counselling has helped. Counsellors have a way of drawing out what is deep inside, getting us to talk about our lives and the affect of circumstances that we have navigated through.
Journalling has also helped me. One of the regular questions I ask myself is, “How do I feel?” It forces me to get in touch with the more subjective part of my psyche. By externalising my feelings, I can think about them and reflect on them, which helps me to gain greater understanding of myself.
During any given day, we will probably experience a range of emotions - joy, boredom, sadness, annoyance, anger, resentment, jealousy, doubt and disappointment, just to name a few. This is all part of what it means to be human. It’s normal to feel.
Feelings are indicators of what is happening on the inside of us. Although they are not meant to control us, they are there to serve us by getting our attention about what is going on beneath the surface of our lives. Even negative emotions have a place. If a red light comes on somewhere on the dashboard of your car don’t smash it with a hammer and say, “I rebuke you, you negative thing!” No, the red light is your friend. It is getting your attention that something under the bonnet needs looking at.
Not all emotions need fixing. Just let them be. Don’t judge them so quickly. Feel them fully and deeply. Often they simply pass on, like the weather, if we give them time.
What are you feeling now? This too shall pass.