Some Thoughts on Family Conflict
Some Thoughts on Divorce and Remarriage

Some Thoughts on Sexuality

SexToday, we live in an increasingly sexually-charged culture. How can followers of Christ please God in the area of their sexuality? After all, God intended sex to be sacred.

Firstly, make a commitment to sexual purity. Unless you do, it is unlikely that you will unintentionally slide towards it. Then, take time to understand why you should say ‘no’ to sexual temptation. God’s commands protect us from many negative consequences us and they provide a blessing for us. All of us are vulnerable, so be on guard against temptation and be wise in your relationships.  

Pornography 

You don't have to visit a seedy little adult bookstore down a dark alleyway to find pornography today. It will find you, whether you want it to or not. It's everywhere - on billboards, magazines and the internet.

Internet pornography is a huge temptation for everyone. It is a multi-billion dollar industry and it is drowning many people in a cesspool of sexual lust.

Christian psychologist, Arch Hart in his book The Sexual Man outlines the dangers or pornography for men (although the same dangers exist for women):

1. Pornography can cause men to prefer a fantasy woman over a real woman. They move from the challenge of a real relationship to an image. Fantasy is less challenging. However, fantasy is not reality.

2. Pornography can be substitute sexual excitement for intimacy. Men can too easily separate sex from love, something that women are far less prone to do.

3. Pornography produces a chemical high and can become addictive. The more you use it the more you need it and the further you drift from reality. More and heavier pornography is required for excitement. Pornography is like junk sex.

4. Woman are de-humanised and become an object to look at rather than person to relate to. It is easy for men to see women as a face and a figure. Pornography intensifies this issue.

5. Many young men have their sexual beliefs and attitudes shaped by pornography and exposure often begins quite young. The fact is that pornography often sets young people up for disappointment in the real world. The vast majority of real women cannot possibly measure up to the air-brushed, colour-enhanced, glossy photographs that can become that standard of reference for some males. Pornography distorts a man’s views of how women feel about sex and what can be reasonably expected from sex.

6. Pornography damages marriages. Research on viewing pornography reveals that both men and women rated their spouses less attractive and felt less in love with them. Repeated exposure to pornography results in a decreased satisfaction with one’s sexual partner, with the partner’s sexuality, with the partner’s sexual curiosity, a decrease in the valuation of faithfulness, and a major decrease in the importance of sex with attachment.

Make a plan to avoid porn. Guard yourself against temptation. Most importantly, get help if you get stuck in an addictive pattern. Accountability is often an important part of finding freedom from any sin.

Some good resources for help with pornography include Alan Meyer's Valiant Man Course and XXX Church.