Men and women use same words but they sometimes have different meanings. For example when a woman says, “I feel like you never listen,” she does not expect the word “never” to be taken in a literal sense. It is simply a way to communicate the frustration she is feeling at the time. When it comes to their choice of words, many women use poetic license, superlatives, metaphors, and generalisations. Unfortunately, men mistakenly take these expressions as literally, causing all sorts of misunderstandings and even conflicts.
Here are some common complaints that are easily misinterpreted:
Woman: "We never go out." Man: "That's not true. We went out last month." Women means: "I feel like going out together. We always have such a good time."
Woman: "The house is always a mess." Man: "It's not always a mess." Woman means: "Today I feel like relaxing but the house is a mess. Could you help a bit?"
Woman: "No one listens to me anymore." Man: "I'm listening to you now." Woman means: "I'm afraid I'm boring you. I'm afraid you're no longer interested."
Woman: "You don't love me anymore." Man: "Of course I do. I'm still here." Woman means: "Today, I'm feeling a little insecure. I'm feeling as if you don't love me."
Woman: "I want more romance." Man: "Are you saying I'm not romantic!" Woman means: "Sweetheart, you have been working so hard lately. How about we have some time together. I'd love for you to buy me some flowers and take me out on a date."
As you can see, a literal translation can easily mislead a man. The key is to not just listen to the actual words and then respond logically. Listen for the meaning behind the words and seek to understand what she is trying to say and where she is coming from. Then learn to open up and share your feelings too.
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