"This morning to my great horror I was humming that Drummer Boy carol ... This might have to do with the outstanding job that our creative arts team did with it at our recent Christmas production. As I was contemplating my fallen state of singing Christmas carols, I realised how weird some songs are ... A Drummer Boy ... In the middle east ... dressed in stripes and all????
Ok, let’s get past that hurdle ... to the fact that he is drumming down the streets of Bethlehem at around midnight? He would never have made it to the stable alive. I'm sure he would have been stoned (semi-automatics were not around at that time, despite the militant theology of some Christians).
Anyway, he makes it to the stable. Mary and Joseph have just gotten rid of the pesky wise guys and now here comes a ... drummer boy! Joseph rolls his eyes. Mary adjusts her halo and smiles ... sweetly. The baby has just settled, everyone is frazzled from the events and the drummer boy wants to ... START DRUMMING!!
The animals go hysterical. There is bellowing, baaing, and growling (the inn keeper’s dog wasn’t going to miss out on the entertainment). The baby begins to wake up, and unlike all popular choruses, screams his lungs out. Joseph grabs the broom and is about to beat the living daylights out of the drummer boy, but Mary gives him a stern, matriarchal look, pulls herself together and nods through clenched teeth at the time-traveling drummer boy. He begins a rendition of “God save the King”. Everyone stares in disbelief, then Joseph ushers him out of the stable, patting him on the back, and encourages him not to call ... they’ll call him ... on their new Nokia ... from the wise guys!"
Merry Christmas everyone!