The Amazing Race
Trying to Comprehend the Incomprehensible God ...

Understanding the Economy

CowsThere is no doubt that the world economy has been in a bit of a turmoil of late with extreme volatility in things such as the value of the dollar, the share market, and property. 

Here's a humorous attempt to try to make some sense of it all ...

 

21 Economic Models Explained with Cows

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.


COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.


FASCISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.


NAZISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.


BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away ...


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.


SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.


ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,  then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you
with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.


A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it
worldwide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You worship them.


A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are mad.


AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy ...


AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

[SOURCE: Jonathan MacDonald]

Comments

The Creative Business Model :

You buy two cows.
You feed them chocolate.
You sell them at exorbitant prices because they are the only two cows in the world that produces chocolate milk.
Next, China and India copy the same but include other flavors such as Caramel, Strawberry, Curry and Sweet n' Sour...

Thank you from an American business owner who needs to laugh.

Kelvin - Brilliant!!!

Hilarious - thanks!

What about the South Africans? - maybe something about killing them and making biltong (jerky) or rugby balls from the skin, or ...

You got two cows. Both produce milk tainted with melamine

nice post

LOL! Definately beefed up my day!!!

I'm pretty sure that our lecturers actually read this out in first year sociology classes!!

You have two cows, one is a Freisian, make no mistake where everything is black N white, then there is the Jersey, where issues are somewhat grey in general but depending on which side you are observing from there may be a browning effect from the sunlight. Only one of them is sacred!

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