TO JESUS, SON OF JOSEPH,
FROM THE JORDAN MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT FIRM
By Dr. Fred Mueller
We would like to thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you picked for management positions in your new organisation. All of them have taken our battery of test and each of them has had a personal interview with our psychologist and our vocational aptitude consultants. And it is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have a team concept. And we would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience and managerial ability and proven capability.
Simon Peter, for example, is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership.
The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty.
Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that will definitely undermine the morale of your entire group.
We feel it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau.
And James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus definitely have radical leanings and they both register a high score in the manic depressive scale.
One of your candidates only, Jesus, however does show great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness. He meets people well, has a keen business mind, has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and responsible. We do recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right hand man. All the other profiles are self-explanatory. We wish you every success, Jesus, in your new venture.